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Sunday, April 11, 2010

If Your Pretending

I prayed for my death that night

even ask the devil himself

the darts struck in my heart has caused me to sink

no one seemed to understand
if I disappear what will I be leaving behind
will the memories I leave behind for others still stay with them
will I have reasons to be missed

so if your pretending, I want you to know

I don't care cause when I'm done here you wont remember me

I'm weak on the surface but I'm firm inside

and when that day comes

I hope you'll open your heart

and feel guilt and emptiness that you have caused

does it make any difference that one less human exists

when I leave here

will I continue to exist in those lives I have entered

through their memory and heart my existence will continue

so if your pretending, I want you to know

as my remembrance flows through the air

I hope you taste the bitterness your heart holds

I dreamed that night that I disappeared

a lonely face caught my attention

it was your tears and affection

it was your ever so dim light

that has come and saved me

so I fight

but if your pretending, I want you to know

I'll leave behind my ever so fragile love for you

and I'll take your lies and fakes you have made me hold on to

I will forever stay true, for you

for all the reasons of why I'm still here

I'll keep you in my heart

and ignore all the stricken darts

and I know your pretending

but I'll still be defending

those memories and lies you have made me hold on to

your the only one i know that can save me from myself

but I hope

when that day comes

that you'll be able to save yourself

so if your pretending, I want you to know

for you my love, I'll hold your hand forever

guide you throw every step you take

even though you willingly let go of my hand

I'll leave behind my ever so fragile love for you

and I'll take your lies and fakes you have made me hold on to

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