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Monday, October 18, 2010

I Said It

Vines of fear are wrapping my body. Every time she calls my name my mind rattles and begins to exaggerate. 
Did she find out? 
The ring of the phone feels like a ghost creeping up behind me that's constantly screaming through my ears.
Does she know?
Did she tell on me? No...She promised...it's alright.

Today is the mark of change. I've scarred the time, and there's no turning back. The words have left my mouth and entered her ear. She'll remember every word I said. She knows everything now. The time has elapsed, and the power to turn back time doesn't belong to me. Erasers can only erase the words written on paper. She knows the main piece that I've been hiding, the most important one. 
What do I do?
Please don't...don't tell anyone.

Maybe I made the wrong choice. But I have nothing to lose, nothing to give, except them maybe.

You can tell me what to do. What I should do, how should I do it. I'm trying to believe you, and you tell me it's easily said than done. 

I've never had the ability to cry and talk in front of someone. My throat burns dry. My voice squeaks silent, and my heart gets trampled. What did you do to me to give me this courage that I never could gain?
Maybe respect plays a part in it. Maybe because I felt that I had to. Maybe because I was trained to. Maybe because I was just scared to. 
I usually don't know what to do, or what to say. But I just met you. Why couldn't I say anything to anyone I known my entire life? What is it about you that opened my mouth? That opened my heart. 

It takes more to break me down. Maybe my spirit has become weak. It's my fault, I let my guard down. I should have been careful. 

I'm running out of things to say. I'm writing to clear my head. If there's something in my mind right now, its the thought of living life alone. But then again, the saying, " You can't go through life alone." still exists. 

I don't like thinking this way. I rather think about candy or toys, or playing mmorpgs.

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